WHY I WENT AWAY & HAD TO COME BACK

So where have I been and why?  Well in truth one of the reasons I was ever able to begin this blog was due to my physical health not functioning as it should, which basically resulted in me being unfit to work.  This in turn left me with a lot of time on my hands and not a lot to occupy my mind of any interest (an absolute no-no for any self-respecting Gemini!).  So I came to the conclusion that just because my body wasn’t working as it ought too, surely I should at least try and keep my brain cells stimulated and why not with something that I actually found interesting and so voila… the Colin Farrell Web-Blog was born. 

And my decision appeared to be working out far better than I could have hoped for.  I felt involved in something creative and good, and the response from you guys was absolutely amazing (massive thanks), and I definitely felt ‘useful’ again. But alas what I hadn’t realised was that my fatigued body was unfortunately having much more of a detrimental effect on my mental stability than I was prepared to admit: Distraction is wonderful way of avoiding ones own shit going on, is it not?  That is of course until you have no choice - cue: Total Meltdown! 

HERE COMES THE SCIENCE BIT… SORRY, REALITY BIT
I fell with great speed into the bottomless pit and it was a dark place and I appeared to want to stay there for some time.  Partly because when you’re in such a hole there is something dangerously fascinating in just doing nothing in order to almost invite the deepest depths of despair just to see how much you can take.  It’s not the safest mindset to be in, but some people like me have to do these things if we’re to ever make any real sense of who and why we are like we are.  Or, maybe it’s just a wicked curse of being a Gemini!  Whatever the reason it’s where I went and a journey I needed to take, and very luckily for me I came back.  So… now what? 

THE I CAN’T BELIEVE SHE JUST SAID THAT!
Okay, here goes: Before my temporary albeit rather lengthy absence I was actually beginning to get ‘turned off’ by Colin Farrell.  Shock, horror, pick yourself off the floor and cover your mouth!!!!!!!!!!!!  I know, I’m sorry but it’s the truth.  I began to struggle with exactly who or what he was trying to be anymore.

Was he trying to be Mr. Pretentious: No I will not smile for the camera unless I am at my premiere, or being paid a lot of money to. 

Or, was he trying to be Mr. Elusive: No I will not admit I have a life outside the of making this film that I am here to promote despite the fact the leading actress happens to be my (then) girlfriend and she’s pregnant. 

Or, was he always Mr. Hollywood: A succession of not so well received big films results in submissive hints that he is done with making another Hollywood blockbuster.  Fast forward a few critically well received small films later and we’re now being given the strong hinted impression that actually he is, and always has been open to the call of doing another Hollywood blockbuster?!

And well for me, I just couldn’t keep up with the guy.

DARE YOU READ ON… GO ON I DARE YOU!
I, like you, began following his career because I believed he was a great up and coming actor with huge potential whom I believed was gonna go all the way, and he did.  And as with so many young Hollywood stars (and indeed non-famous people like us) he jumped in with both feet, threw caution to the wind and burnt the candle at both ends until he finally found himself stuck in the middle with one of two options: clean up or go under.  Thankfully, the guy wanted and intended to stick around and this kind of attitude went on to fuel my admiration to even greater heights. So I happily continued to enjoy such maturing talent and happily recommend his films to all those I came into contact with.  I absolutely enjoyed my womanly fantasies whilst watching the man on the big screen and even wilder womanly fantasies whilst watching the man on my nice big television set in the privacy of my own home! 

So it’s during these early days, naturally as a fan I found myself experiencing a growing need to follow his private life, which let’s face it wasn‘t hard being as he was splashed all over tabloids every day.  Now I wonder: were the media everywhere Colin was by sheer coincidence, or by sheer agent power promotion?  Umm……… Oh well, no matter because it worked.  And I liked the Irishman Colin Farrell who openly courted and jested with the media and the fans alike, an actor who for once appeared to be generally approachable, and a guy who seemingly did not want to fall prey into taking himself too seriously.  And then something happened.  Slowly, but surely we began to witness someone who had no desire to court or be courted let alone jest with the media and fans alike, an established actor who now became generally un-approachable, and a man who seemingly now had fallen prey in taking himself rather seriously. 

Yes, I know people don’t stay the same forever, and we all have to grow up one day, but I just never expected such a ‘very sombre’ change. I mean where did Colin Farrell go?  Did giving up drink and drugs mean giving up his personality too?  And well, dare I say it but yes I will… he was beginning to bore me! 

NOW STOP RIGHT THERE… WHERE’S THE HAPPY ENDING?!
Okay rant over and time for confession: A few weeks ago I found myself watching In Bruges, and suddenly my candle was reignited.  Shame on me for forgetting just what a great actor he was and is, and who am I to judge whether he should be as entertaining to me off camera as he is on?  It’s now clear to me that I had allowed myself to become engulfed in some righteous deluded Colin Farrell fan fever… maybe it was all the tablets I was on, or is that just some feeble excuse?!  Anyway the good news is I’m a born again Colin Farrell fan only this time I am taking less tablets, am perhaps a little saner in mind, and hopefully a lot more positive in spirit, which is why I knew I had to return to my blog and I really hope you will ALL join me again too XXX